Monday, March 18, 2013
Last night my oldest and #1son Daniel Paul I have not seen in years came home for a visit. Daniel we call Danny has 5 sons and lived in PA. With such a distance between us and our work schedules time had slipped by the both of us. As he hugged me I realize just how much I miss my older children. It has been years since I finally had all my children in the same State and City. Shortly Danny's family will be moving to Louisiana and we will finally once again our family will be together. I remember when my labor had began it was on April Fools Day with many false labors prior going into labor on this one day I could not believe. Even our Lord sometimes has to play a joke on a momma. Silly me I finally had to give in and go to the hospital only to find out yes the time was finally here. Shortly I had a red face screaming son and my life had chance for I was a mother. One of the greatest gifts my Lord has allow me to have was to become a mother. And also a mother to 13 children. 2 children in Heaven, 4 driving me crazy on earth, 2 step adopted children and our 5 adopted children. Hard to believe some days. One day during an interview at school I was ask if I ever wanted children and I said yes a dozen but as you know it is a Bakers Dozen (13). Not yet knowing what the years ahead may bring of other children only our Lord knows. My heart tells me maybe our days are not yet over in parenting other children. Still again I just do not know at this moment. Hard to say for my heart says more but my body and mind say OH MY :O0000
Last night as my oldest son hugged and kiss me I remember him as a child of 5 years. It felt as if I blink my eyes and my son now a man. I pray when the time comes for me to leave our earth I have given it my all. So daily I do what I can and ask our Lord to guide me in accomplishing as much as I can.
Packing**Now getting on to packing our bags.
I probably one again over packed and again probably forgot something we need. I had made lists for months and put each child's clothing in separate bags as in prior adoptions. I learn while on the plane to have all meds available when needed and once our carry on is in the over head do not plan on getting any of it out for use. Praying for a good seat near a restroom and praying also the flight is not a full one so we an rest with out a big crowd fighting for a restroom. Using a restroom is like a big game on an airplane. I waited a good 15 minutes only for a pregnant girl to wait behind me and yes I had to step back to let her in first. I remember those days in trying to hold it in and weighing a good 40 pounds or more bearing down on my bladder-just no fun. :o0000 I packed jackets for the kids and ourselves and only praying we do not need them while there. If it is nice I am leaving my jacket behind. Prior to this trip I purchase a new one for only $8.00. I got one of those bags you can suck the air out so everything I could remove air I did. Making our bags with a lot more room. Only praying the airline do not ask us to open these up. So much I have learn about airlines and just being one pound over and cost you. So I weigh the heavier ones first and then move items if I have to. I refuse to pay over bag fees. So I weigh at home again and again and again. we used to get 2 bags but now only the one to check in another to carry on and a purse or diaper bag. We will see and praying no headaches while there checking these bags in. So we decided to check bags in several hours early just in case we have to move things around. Again I had learned the hard way in the pass with luggage.
Each and every time my luggage is lost especially heading to BG. Why there I do not know :O(( Probably because it is searched and screened because I pack it tightly. I have allow myself extra days in arriving for lost bags so we will see :O))
Today I am bringing Samantha for her OB check up and praying things look as they should. No major changes that may bring an early birth. Praying the schedule C-section is still as planned and praying she does not go in labor while I am away. Knowing both of us are now new mommas April will be a big adjustment for us both. New kids and no rest :o000 In both our homes we are both ready. Samantha's nursery is finally complete just adding up the new window blinds and everything is done. In our home the little beds are ready clothing in the dressers just a few dresses to rehang we are ready. I have purchase some toddler foods for the house and still not sure what these little ones can eat. I will learn this as we prepare to come back home.
Oh how I wish I could rest today but many last minute things to do. So I must close and tommorrow my last post before we travel. :O)) May our Lord watch over our babies till we are there. And may he also watch over my children and family here.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
These photos were taken 2 years ago during Patrick's Big Day. This day we set aside to remember how much this one child has fought to survive. The orphanage director had read us Patrick's file when he arrived and it showed during his arrival to the hospital he weighted a mire pound and this was with a blanket. The Day we met Patrick he weighed under 8 pounds and was mainly a handful of skin and bones covered in Staph. Not a pretty pretty site to see for all I could see was those big brown eyes. He laid still and not one did he cry or move. Daily I would walk to his small crib where he laid between 3 other little girls. The only boy surrounded by 3 other little girls. Each day I would pick each child up and rock them but one by one they had all died. On one particular day I was holding one little girl which I named Hope and she took her last breath. Little by little her breath slowed down as well as my heart had. I think during this one time in my life I had learned I will never be the same person. This was not the first time I held someone as they had died nor was this the first time I lost someone this small. Several years ago I had twins and I was very ill. I had deliver my small son and daughter and they die shortly after birth. Neither child I was able to hold nor did I get to see. There were no photos taken while I laid asleep. I was told they did not know if I was going die also so they decided it would be best to just use this time in prayer. It was not my time to leave this precious earth and as I grieved for my two small babies I knew our Lord had plan something else for my life. In my heart I remember each of the bumps at nights from them and I cherish this. I still have packed away blankets I had made for them. And one day I will get to hold them in my arms. This one little girl Hope I had prayed and prayed for. I ask our Lord to please help her and to give her this one chance. Like most orphans all they need is one chance some HOPE. But again for little Hope it was not to be. But her dying made me realize life is as precious as we make it and each and everyday we must cherish our children. As I carefully handed this little girl over to a caregiver. My arms seem to not want to let go as if I was giving away her only chance at a family. If only we had came a little sooner. Sometimes time and love can make a difference. I advocate for Adoption. Not only advocate I try and educate those with their hearts in adopting or incourage others to supporting adopting families. Not one orphan child I have ever met wanted to be an orphan. I could imagine the pain these children feel daily as they wait and die.
When my husband Gary and I decided to adopt it was not because we did not have children. We did he had 2 from a prior marriage and I had my 4 living children here on earth and my little ones in Heaven with their father. A few years after the death of my children I also lost my husband Tim. It seemed during this time I was to feel pain and it was a very hard time for my family. I can not complain because I was bless to have been apart of each of them and was able to love them. Sometimes life does not promise you forever nor did it promise happiness. We must take each day and love each day. I wonder often how do we know when we die? Will we be able to say goodbye with our hearts or leave part of them behind? I often think when my own mother had passed away it was she left her love with me to share with others. And this is one thing about my own mother I will always be thankful for knowing how to love and share love.
Not all people should parent and not all women should conceive a child. There are some women and men that do not consider a life before it is actually born. But from my heart I can share this will others my two babies I loved and whether they died in my womb or out of my womb they were the most precious gift our Lord has allow me to have. I will cherish the memories of their movements. I do not understand how a woman could end her own child's life. It is hard enough for me to drive by a dog or cat that had gotten ran over without crying. And a baby oh God when I pass Kings Highway there is an Abortion Clinic it is called Hope Medical. Why the word Hope I will never know. Because I would love to know where the Hell is the hope for this child that has been killed. Across from it my husband worked each day and each day I dropped him off for work I cried for these babies. I wonder what these women were thinking? As my own daughter Samantha worries about carrying her child to full term another woman kills her own baby. I pray for each and every baby, I also pray for these women for their selfishness.
Later on today I will post a few updated photos this evening of Patrick and the children. I was not trying to get off subject but Patrick fought to live and when I think of the years I worked my bottom off to keep him alive I get sick knowing others just do not care. I love my son, I love each of my children. Not a one child I love more than the other. I would die before I would give up on my child or children. I would fight and do just what our Lord expected of me to do. Not a day goes by I do not pray for each child and fight for them to be healthy. And during this fight I am never alone for I am holding hands with our Lord. Not a day goes by he is not there nor has he not be there for me or my family. On this beautiful St. Patrick Day I ask you to give that one extra hug and kiss for your child. Call you parents tell them you love them. Not only tell them share how much they have meant to you. One day we will and may not have this chance again.
|JUST THREE MORE DAYS :o)|
Saturday, March 16, 2013
|YES JUST FOUR MORE DAYS|
Earlier in the week we received an email to upgrade our hotel room to a much larger room and also save $6.00 per day. This $6.00 will also help in our food budget :O) times by 10 days a big savings. Once we are there we will need to purchase 2 car seats to travel with the kids. Bulgaria has now finally passed a law that all children are required to be in a car seat. Since we will need one for our return flight we will purchase 2 there in Sofia or Razgard and also 2 single baby strollers.
At the hotel we will be staying at HOTEL LES there is a large park, swing sets and a nice playground so the first day they are out we are able to play with them and they can feel comfortable before our drive back to Sofia. That Saturday we will drive back to our hotel and have dinner with several other adopting families. There is a total of 8 families some also picking up their children and some visiting their children for the first time. I am looking forward to finding meeting the faces I have been chatting with this pass year. :O))
I know once again I have over packed way to many clothes for the children. Trying to make sure we have enough clothing. But with the diapers we are going buy them while in Sofia at the grocery shops. Again we are trying to prevent from packing another bag. Each additional bag will cost $100 each and buying them there we can also keep from having to pack them.
My daughter Samantha is due on April 16th and her doctor schedule her C-section for April 9th. Little Kayden during last visit was transverse position and his placenta right over the top of her cervix. So praying she does not have any more early labor signs. Each week she has a visit with her doctor and this last one her blood pressure high as well as her sugar levels. So pray while we are away Samantha and Little Kayden do well. My biggest worry when I leave.
Trying to make sure everything is in order. Preparing Chrissie so when we leave she is not upset. Last time she cried while I was away. Just a momma's girl :O))) Makayla's school hours have been cut down to 3 hours so she will be able to help with Chrissie and keep her company and Skype us when we are on during their day hours. Amazing how we can see our family being on the other side of the world and also during dinner time chat as they eat. Almost like being at home.
Once I am in Sofia I will post photos of our hotel and also a day to day in posts.
Again just 4 more days :O))))))))))) whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa